Anything Pete can do, I can do better

[mandy_croyance]

So I was wondering... Exactly how hard would it be to turn out bullshit song lyrics like Pete Wentz?

Apparently not very.


My heart is a set of sliding subway doors:
You only have until the third chime to get on before I shut you out
(Feel free to get off anytime)
And I’ve been staring at the yellow line on the platform wanting to jump
But my timing’s all off. My timing’s all off.
I am the underground
You’ve got skyscrapers in your eyes and they claw at the clouds
Like you claw through my veins
Your legs are the only highway I’ve ever wanted to travel
But I’m afraid there’s congestion in the collector lanes



P.S. Hey Patrick, I think you should hire me to replace Wentz. I can't play the bass for shit, but at least I'm sane.

P.P.S. I win! It took me literally 2 minutes to write this. (Thank God it wasn't more or my brain may have fallen to mush.)

P.P.P.S. I dare you to try it yourself. I'm talking to you, f-list!

(Come on, guys. It’s kind of like a paint by numbers, really. Or a simple recipe:
- 1 cup of pining obsessively over a lover who doesn’t want you and/or you don’t want either (so HA!)
- 5 tablespoons of cocksure egotism
- 3 ounces of ridiculous and ambiguous metaphors
- 1 and 1/2 teaspoons of creepy, creepy sex
- Half a dozen broken hearts, applied liberally
- A pinch of misogyny
- 2 full quarts of pure and unfiltered ~emo
Mix thoroughly and bake until steaming, and voila! You too can write songs as god-awful as Pete!)

Comments

[fegli.livejournal.com]

Psht. You're already better than Pete Wentz. I don't know why people think he's such a brilliant lyricist. Fact is, Patrick is the unsung hero of the band. Without his skillz none of those songs would be anywhere near as catchy and brilliant as they are. I'm at a point where I feel like Pete's lyrics just get in the way of what could be entirely good, un-self indulgent songs.

[mandy-croyance.livejournal.com]

It's ridiculously true. Pete's lyrics (and maybe his entire existence) is the main reason I just can't bring myself to like that band. They're god-awful horrific. I can write out of my ass better than that (as indicated above).

Patrick's ear for music, however, is astounding. Brilliant even. The boy can write a catchy pop song; I'll give him that. I'm predicting Fall Out Boy isn't going to last (either they'll be ousted as their fan base finishes hitting puberty like the boy band they are or Pete will do us a favour and off himself), but I get the feeling Patrick will be around in this biz for a very long time.

[fegli.livejournal.com]

I see Patrick as more of a behind-the-scenes type anyway. Maybe because he's little and bald and has no self-esteem, but he never seems very comfortable in front of the camera or in concert. I can, however, picture him at a mixing board in a studio creating sheer brilliance.

I hope FOB's fans learn their lesson. That's the problem with allowing yourself to become so popular and building on it and feeding on it. Once your younger fans realize how shit you are (or move on to the next big thing), you really have no fans because all the ones who were there from the beginning are so damn alienated. I'm almost hoping Panic!'s next CD is shit so that the same thing happens. I mean, I love them and all, but the fandom is just ridiculous.

[mandy-croyance.livejournal.com]

I agree with you in each and every way.

I'm challenging my f-list to try their hand at writing like Pete. I even added a tutorial (read: recipe) onto the bottom of the post for your convenience :)

So, whaddaya say? I dare you.