posted by [identity profile] cantspell.livejournal.com at 12:30am on 21/02/2009
If it came to that, I may have to take one for the team :P

Still, seriously, who in their right mind would publish it unless she manages to find some way to self-publish? Being a girl who had sex with a minor celebrity is not going to get you published in this day and age (or ever, really). Not to mention, she doesn't even have an interesting writing style that would make up for the lack of...everything. I mean, I could write that book myself just by reading her blog.

Ch. 1: I am SO amazing! Here is a list of minorly noteworthy things I've done! Exaggeration!

Ch. 2: I LOVE Ryan Ross, and I don't care WTF you think because you know NOTHING about my life and how amazing he is.

Ch. 3: I have THE HARDEST LIFE EVAR. NO ONE suffers more than I do to have such an amazing life! NO ONE! Little children in third world refugee camps have NOTHING on me.

Ch. 4: Put this book down for a minute and don't pick it up again until you've told at least five people how awesome I am. Then tell ME on my blog or I will CRY.

Ch. 5: Ryan Ross is RUINING MY LIFE, I don't know HOW in the world I can trust him when he keeps doing the same things over and over! How am I supposed to trust someone when they are so predictable in dicking me over? I can't anticipate that stuff!

Ch. 6: How DARE you criticize me! What's more, how DARE you suggest that my relationship is less than perfect! You know NOTHING about my life, just because you back up your opinion of me with ACTUAL events that you only know about because I told the world about them in my blog! Why won't you LEAVE ME ALONE!

Ch. 7: I love Ryan Ross so much! And because I have the PERFECT relationship, I am totally qualified to give bland, meaningless advice because I am SO DEEP.

Ch. 8: My life is still SO HARD. I am the only person who has ever had to work hard at anything, ever! But it has totally paid off because my life is AMAZ- oh wait...

Ch. 9: I HATE RYAN ROSS. I can't believe he did everything again that he did in Ch. 5, and then people warned me about in Ch. 6! Why do HORRIBLE things happen out of the blue like this to me?

Ch. 10: If you don't go buy copies of my book for all your friends and tell them how AWESOME I am, I will cry more! I shouldn't have to cry! Come ON, my life is amazing! I am entitled to never have any sort of discomfort whatsoever! PUT DOWN THIS BOOK AND GO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME, I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW.

The end.
 
posted by [identity profile] gypsycaravan.livejournal.com at 01:33am on 21/02/2009
omg, i lol'd
 
posted by [identity profile] mandy-croyance.livejournal.com at 03:52am on 21/02/2009
This is so awesome and positively hysterical! My mother's asking me why I'm laughing so hard.

You should totally post this in your journal :)

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